Closet Moments

Before I started on Jenny Craig, I used to stand in my closet and look through my clothes trying to find something to wear that was not too tight or too revealing or uncomfortable.  It was not an easy task.  I'm not saying I did not have enough to choose from, exactly the opposite in fact.  I have clothes in my closet from my college days.  I was always afraid to get rid of things...in-case!   "In-case they come back in style" was one of my favorites.  "In-case I lose/gain weight" was one I told myself multiple times weekly. "In-case I decide to repaint the inside of the hallway closet." You get the idea.  So anyway, right before I started Jenny, I found myself stretching out my largest tee shirts so they were not clingy and picking out stretchy shorts to wear so I could breath.  It was not a fun day.  I hated everything in the closet that morning.

Then I joined Jenny and really started working out and in a few weeks, even though in my own head when I look in the mirror I saw the same old girl who had to stretch out the largest of tee shirts (I Googled this and apparently it is called Phantom Fat Phenomenon and a fairly common issue when someone is losing or gaining weight), those tee shirts and a few others I would not have dreamed of wearing outside of my closet let alone my house started to fit.  I could take a shirt off a hanger and put it on without stretching out the bottom and sleeves.  It was a good day.

Then a few weeks later I had a morning where I stood looking at my clothes and thought, "It doesn't matter!!"  It doesn't matter which shirt or pair of shorts I choose to put on because they all fit!  That was a great day for me.  Now I am not kidding myself they were still 2X or 3X, not a regular size by any means but for me it was still a great feeling.  It was one way for me to feel the results that the scale told me I was achieving.

Now I have been on Jenny for 13 weeks.  I have consistently lost weight every week. Some weeks were more than others but I have lost at least 1 lb a week for a grand total of 36 lbs. I am proud of my success and the hard work it has taken to get here.  But when I look in the mirror I still see the same girl from 13 weeks ago.  The only thing that seems to be changing is my closet.  Yesterday I was getting dressed to run an errand with Dr. D and I threw on a shirt and caught a glance of myself in the mirror on my way out of the bedroom and stopped.  I could not wear that!  It was not too tight, it was not torn or stained.  It was a tent!  A freekin' tent hanging off me like I draped a bright yellow garbage bag over my shoulders.  I went back into my closet and chose another shirt and this one was also droopy.  I went through 4 wardrobe changes before I found something that was acceptable to wear out in public.  Can you see my eyes popping out of my head?   Well no I guess you can't because you are not sitting here in front of this glowing screen but trust me I am looking quite shocked.  This does not happen to me.  I used to have to make several changes before going out but it was because I was poured into these clothes, not because they were too big!

This morning I went through the museum I had hanging in my closet and tried on almost everything.  I have actually taken those tents off the hangers and folded them into piles for consignment or donation.  I have not actually carried them out of the closet yet but I plan to.  I just need a little mental break to digest this first!  This is a good day!